Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

27 INTERESTING STATEMENTS WITH REFERENCE

27. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=cigarette+lighter+invented+before+match&btnG=Google+Search



26. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=average+chocolate+bar+insect+legs&btnG=Search



25. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do.

http://www.science-frontiers.com/sf058/sf058b07.htm



24. Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won\'t be
able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after
such a large amount. (Common Sense)



23. Uncle Phil, from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, did the voice of
Shredder in the TMNT cartoon.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0043041/



22. Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.

http://www.webelements.com/webelements/elements/text/Au/geol.html



21. The US national anthem actually has three verses, but everyone
just knows the first one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Star-Spangled_Banner



20. During World War II, IBM built the computers the Nazis used to
manage their death/concentration camps.

http://www.ibmandtheholocaust.com/articles/auschwitz.html



19. The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier
than the weight of the human population.

http://www.perceptions.couk.com/superants.html



18. The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil
war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led by a man who
thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ.

http://www.asiawind.com/pub/forum/fhakka/mhonarc/msg00451.html



17. Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people
die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of
people every second. Almost 10 people more live on this Earth now,
than before you finished reading this.

http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/ask_earl/page?d=20000714



16. Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.

http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/birthday.asp



15. The number of people alive on earth right now is higher than the
number of all the people that have died. Ever.

http://www.prb.org/Template.cfm?Section=PRB&template=/Content/ContentGroups/02_Articles/0ct-Dec02/How_Many_People_Have_Ever_Lived_on_Earth_.htm



14. The average American consumes 1.2 pounds of spider eggs a year and
eat 2.5 pounds of insect parts a year.

http://www.corsinet.com/trivia/average.html



13. The Kamp Krusty episode of the Simpson's was originally meant to
be made as the Simpsons movie.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamp_Krusty



12. Men can breastfeed babies

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_lactation



11. There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which
you\'ve probably never heard of.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome



10. Scientists have determined that fungi are more closely related to
human beings and animals than to other plants.

http://www.factmonster.com/spot/fungus1.html



9. In some (maybe all) Asian countries, the family name is written
first and the individual name written second (opposite of the America
method). That\'s why Asian athletes like Yao Ming and Ichiro Suzuki
have Yao and Ichiro written on their jerseys. Those are their family
names and in America their names are written Ming Yao and Suzuki
Ichiro.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_name



8. Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860

http://www.historycooperative.org/journals/jala/19.1/hall.html



7. A German World War II submarine was sunk due to malfunction of the toilet.

http://forum.axishistory.com/viewtopic.php?t=9684&start=0



6. Washington State has the longest single beach in the United States.
Long Beach, WA.

http://www.gonorthwest.com/Washington/southwest/Long-Beach/Long_Beach.htm



5. The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom
underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.

http://www.infoplease.com/spot/fungus1.html




4. The town of Los Angeles, California, was originally named El Pueblo
la Nuestra Senora de Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula.

http://www.usc.edu/isd/archives/la/historic/la_settlement.html



3. 9 out of 10 people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.
This isn't true; Joseph Swan did.

http://chem.ch.huji.ac.il/~eugeniik/history/swan.html



2. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the
tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found
edible.

http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/gen01/gen01338.htm



1. The Population of the world can live within the state boundaries of Texas.

http://www.improb.com/teach/lessons2002/people-in-texas.html


PHILOSOPHY OF STOCK EXCHANGE

Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys went out in the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching moneys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him for 50. The villagers queued up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.
Phir na tau aadmi mila na us ka assistant. Sirf bandar hee bandar. (Then neither that man nor his assistant was seen ever after ans what was left were the monkey and monkeys.)

Monday, May 22, 2006

A DAY OFF

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.
This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

Friday, May 12, 2006

How does a new islamic month begin in different countries

Actual Sighting judged by Qadi, or Review Panel. (Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Oman, Morocco)

Moon born & moonset after sunset.(S.Arabia, sometimes deviates for Ramadan, Shawwal, Zul-Hijja)

Follow Saudi Arabia. (Qatar, Kuwait, UAE, Bahrain, Yemen, Turkey)

Moon Born & moon sets at least 5 minutes after sunset. (Egypt)

News from neighbor countries. (New Zealand gets from Australia, and Suriname gets from Guyana)

Follow first Muslim country that announces it. (Europe, Some Carribean Islands)

Criteria, of age, or altitude, or sunset-moonset lag. (Algeria, and Tunisia)

Age > 8 hours, altitude > 2°, elongation > 3°. (Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia)

Pre-calculated calendar. Bohra, Ismaiili, and Qadiani community in the world.

No specific criterion! Decision varies year by year. (Nigeria)

Actual sighting confirmed by astronomical calculations. (USA, Canada).
Note: Countries in parentheses are examples



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wisdom behind calamities

Question:

I often hear that there is great wisdom behind the calamities that befall people. What is this wisdom?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, there is great wisdom behind calamities, including the following:


1 – To attain true submission and servitude (‘uboodiyyah) to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.

Many people are slaves to their whims and desires and are not true slaves of Allaah. They say that they are slaves of Allaah, but when they are tested they turn on their heels and lose out in this world and in the Hereafter, and that is an evident loss. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among mankind is he who worships Allaah as it were upon the edge (i.e. in doubt): if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss” [al-Hajj 22:11]

2 – Trials prepare the believers to prevail on earth

It was said to Imam al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him): Which is better, patience or tests or prevailing? He said: Prevailing is the level attained by the Prophets, and there can be no prevailing except after trials. If a person is tried he will become patient, and if he remains patient he will prevail.

3 – Expiation of sins

al-Tirmidhi (2399) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trials will continue to befall the believing man or woman in himself, his child and his wealth until he meets Allaah with no sin on him.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2399), classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 2280.

It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) “When Allaah wills good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for him in this world, and when Allaah wills ill for His slave, he withholds the punishment for his sins from him his sin until he comes with all his sins on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1220).

4 – Attainment of reward and a rise in status

Muslim (2572) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer is not harmed by a thorn or anything greater, but Allaah will raise him in status thereby, or erase a sin thereby.”

5 – Calamities provide an opportunity to think about one's faults and shortcomings and past mistakes.

Because if it is a punishment, what was the sin?

6 – Calamity is a lesson in Tawheed, faith and trust in Allaah

It shows you in a practical sense what you really are, so you will realize that you are a weak slave, and you have no strength and no power except with your Lord, then you will put your trust in Him in a true sense, and will turn to Him in a true sense, and put aside your position, pride, arrogance, self-admiration and heedlessness, and you will understand that you are poor and in need of your Lord, and you are weak and need to turn to the Most Strong, the Almighty, may He be glorified.

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

Were it not that Allaah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities, they would transgress and overstep the mark. When Allaah wills good for His slaves, He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation, so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases, until He purifies and cleanses him, and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world, which is that of being a true slave of Allaah (‘uboodiyyah), and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter, which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him. End quote. Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/195

7 – Calamities drive out self-admiration from our hearts and bring them closer to Allaah

Ibn Hajr said: Yoonus ibn Bukayr narrated in Ziyaadaat al-Maghaazi that al-Rabee’ ibn Anas said: A man said on the day of Hunayn: “We will never be defeated today for lack of numbers.” That upset the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and then they were defeated. Ibn al-Qayyim said in Zaad al-Ma’aad (3/477):

In His wisdom, Allaah decreed that the Muslims should first taste the bitterness of defeat, despite their great numbers and adequate equipment and strength, so as to humble some people who felt proud as a result of the conquest of Makkah and who had not entered His land and His sanctuary as the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had entered it, bending his head whilst riding his horse to the extent that his chin almost touched the saddle, out of humbleness before his Lord.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And that Allaah may test (or purify) the believers (from sins) and destroy the disbelievers” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:141]

al-Qaasimi (4/239) said:

i.e., to cleanse them and purify them of sin and of pride and arrogance. He also cleanses them of the hypocrites, and make them stand out distinct from them… then He mentions another reason, which is “to destroy the disbelievers”, for if they prevail they will transgress and overstep the mark, which will be the cause of their downfall and destruction. The laws of Allaah dictate that when He wants to destroy His enemies and erase them, he makes available to them the means which will lead to their doom and eradication, among the greatest of which, after their kufr, is their transgression and tyranny in persecuting, opposing and fighting His close friends… Allaah destroyed those who waged war against the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on the day of Uhud and persisted in kufr. End quote.

8 – To demonstrate the true nature of people, for there are people whose virtue is unknown until calamity strikes

al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad said: As long as people are doing fine, their true nature is concealed, but when calamity strikes, their true natures are revealed, so the believer resorts to his faith and the hypocrite resorts to his hypocrisy.

Al-Bayhaqi narrated in al-Dalaa’il that Abu Salamah said: Many people were confused – i.e., after the Isra’ – and some people came to Abu Bakr and told him. He said: “I bear witness that he is telling the truth.” They said: “Do you believe that he went to Syria in one night then came back to Makkah?” He said: “Yes, and I believe him in more than that, I believe what he says of the Revelation that comes to him from heaven.” And because of that he was named al-Siddeeq.

9 – Calamities strengthen people’s resolve

Allaah chose for His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) a hard life filled with all kinds of hardship from a young age, in order to prepare him for the great mission that awaited him, which none could bear but the strongest of men, who have gone through hardship and who are tested with calamities and bear them with patience.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was born an orphan, then it was not long before his mother died too.

Allaah reminded the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) of that when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“Did He not find you O Muhammad) an orphan and give you a refuge?”[al-Duha 93:6]


It is as if Allaah wanted to prepare the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to bear responsibility and endure hardship from an early age.

10 – Another reason behind calamities and hardship is that a person becomes able to distinguish between true friends and friends who only have their own interests at heart.

11 – Calamities remind you of your sins so that you can repent from them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself” [al-Nisa’ 4:79]

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”

[al-Shoora 42:30]

Calamities offer an opportunity to repent before the greater punishment comes on the Day of Resurrection. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e. the torment in the life of this world, i.e. disasters, calamities) prior to the supreme torment (in the Hereafter), in order that they may (repent and) return (i.e. accept Islam)” [al-Sajdah 32:21]

The “near torment” is hardship in this world and bad things that happen to a person.

If life continues to be easy, a person may become conceited and arrogant, and think that he has no need of Allaah, so by His mercy He tests people so that they may return to Him.

12 – Calamities show you the true nature of this world and its transience, and that it is temporary conveniences, and shows us that true life is that which is beyond this world, in a life in which there is no sickness or exhaustion.

“Verily, the home of the Hereafter that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:64]

But this life is just hardship and exhaustion.

“Verily, We have created man in toil” [al-Balad 90:4]

13 – Calamities remind you of the great blessings of good health and ease.

This calamity shows you in the clearest way the meaning of health and ease that you enjoyed for many years, but did not taste their sweetness or appreciate them fully.

Calamities remind you of blessings and the One Who bestows them, and cause you to thank and praise Allaah for His blessings.

14 – Longing for Paradise

You will never long for Paradise until you taste the bitterness of this world. How can you long for Paradise when you are content with this world?

This is some of the wisdom behind calamities, and the interests attained by them, and the wisdom of Allaah is great indeed.

And Allaah knows best.

Source: islam-qa.com

A chronology of key events in the life of Pakistan my homeland

Pakistan's Profile:-
A chronology of key events:


1906 - Muslim League founded as forum for Indian Muslim separatism.
MUHAMMED ALI JINNAH

Founding father of Pakistan, revered as the 'Great Leader'
Born in Karachi, 1876
Pakistan's first head of state until his death in 1948


1998: Screening the life of Jinnah
1940 - Muslim League endorses idea of separate nation for India's Muslims.
1947 - Muslim state of East and West Pakistan created out of partition of India at the end of British rule. Hundreds of thousands die in widespread communal violence and millions are made homeless.
1948 - Muhammed Ali Jinnah, the first governor general of Pakistan, dies.
1948 - First war with India over disputed territory of Kashmir.
Military rule
1951 - Jinnah's successor Liaquat Ali Khan is assassinated.
1956 - Constitution proclaims Pakistan an Islamic republic.
1958 - Martial law declared and General Ayyub Khan takes over.
1960 - General Ayyub Khan becomes president.
War and secession
1965 - Second war with India over Kashmir.
1969 - General Ayyub Khan resigns and General Yahya Khan takes over.
1970 - Victory in general elections in East Pakistan for breakaway Awami League, leading to rising tension with West Pakistan.
1971 - East Pakistan attempts to secede, leading to civil war. India intervenes in support of East Pakistan which eventually breaks away to become Bangladesh.
1972 - Simla peace agreement with India sets new frontline in Kashmir.
1973 - Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto becomes prime minister.
Zia takes charge
ZULFIQAR ALI BHUTTO

Former PM deposed in coup, sentenced in murder trial


On This Day 1979: Deposed Pakistani PM is executed
1977 - Riots erupt over allegations of vote-rigging by Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto's Pakistan People's Party (PPP). General Zia ul-Haq stages military coup.
1978 - General Zia becomes president.
1979 - Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto hanged.
1980 - US pledges military assistance to Pakistan following Soviet intervention in Afghanistan.
1985 - Martial law and political parties ban lifted.
1986 - Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto's daughter Benazir returns from exile to lead PPP in campaign for fresh elections.
1988 August - General Zia, the US ambassador and top Pakistan army officials die in mysterious air crash.
Bhutto comeback

General Zia's death in 1988 ended 11-year military rule


1999: Echoes of General Zia
1988 November - Benazir Bhutto's PPP wins general election.
1990 - Benazir Bhutto dismissed as prime minister on charges of incompetence and corruption.
1991 - Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif begins economic liberalisation programme. Islamic Shariah law formally incorporated into legal code.
1992 - Government launches campaign to stamp out violence by Urdu-speaking supporters of the Mohajir Quami Movement.
1993 - President Khan and Prime Minister Sharif both resign under pressure from military. General election brings Benazir Bhutto back to power.
Politics and corruption
BENAZIR BHUTTO

Former PM, twice dismissed from office for alleged corruption


2003: Benazir Bhutto's extraordinary career
Women in Power: Benazir Bhutto
1996 - President Leghari dismisses Bhutto government amid corruption allegations.
1997 - Nawaz Sharif returns as prime minister after his Pakistan Muslim League party wins elections.
1998 - Pakistan conducts its own nuclear tests after India explodes several devices.
1999 April - Benazir Bhutto and her husband convicted of corruption and given jail sentences. Benazir stays out of the country.
1999 May - Kargil conflict: Pakistan-backed forces clash with the Indian military in the icy heights around Kargil in Indian-held Kashmir. More than 1,000 people are killed on both sides.
1999 October - Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif overthrown in military coup led by General Pervez Musharraf. Coup is widely condemned, Pakistan is suspended from Commonwealth.
2000 April - Nawaz Sharif sentenced to life imprisonment on hijacking and terrorism charges.
2000 December - Nawaz Sharif goes into exile in Saudi Arabia after being pardoned by military authorities.
NAWAZ SHARIF

Former PM ousted in 1999 coup, lives in exile in Saudi Arabia


Profile: Nawaz Sharif
2001 20 June - Gen Pervez Musharraf names himself president while remaining head of the army. He replaced the figurehead president, Rafiq Tarar, who vacated his position earlier in the day after the parliament that elected him was dissolved.
2001 July - Musharraf meets Indian Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee in the first summit between the two neighbours in more than two years. The meeting ends without a breakthrough or even a joint statement because of differences over Kashmir.
2001 September - Musharraf swings in behind the US in its fight against terrorism and supports attacks on Afghanistan. US lifts some sanctions imposed after Pakistan's nuclear tests in 1998, but retains others put in place after Musharraf's coup.
Kashmir tensions
2001 October - India fires on Pakistani military posts in the heaviest firing along the dividing line of control in Kashmir for almost a year.
2001 December - India imposes sanctions against Pakistan, to force it to take action against two Kashmir militant groups blamed for a suicide attack on parliament in New Dehli. Pakistan retaliates with similar sanctions.
2001 December - India, Pakistan mass troops along common border amid mounting fears of a looming war.

Tensions with India over Kashmir go back decades


In Depth: Kashmir flashpoint
Timeline: Pakistan-India tensions
2002 January - President Musharraf bans two militant groups - Lashkar-e-Toiba and Jaish-e-Mohammad - and takes steps to curb religious extremism.
2002 January - Musharraf announces that elections will be held in October 2002 to end three years of military rule.
2002 April - Musharraf wins another five years in office in a referendum criticised as unconstitutional and fraught with irregularities.
2002 May - 14 people, including 11 French technicians, are killed in a suicide attack on a bus in Karachi. The following month 12 people are killed in a suicide attack outside the US consulate in the city.
2002 May - Pakistan test fires three medium-range surface-to-surface Ghauri missiles, which are capable of carrying nuclear warheads. Musharraf tells nation that Pakistan doesn't want war but is ready to respond with full force if attacked.
2002 June - Britain and USA maintain diplomatic offensive to avert war, urge their citizens to leave India and Pakistan.
PERVEZ MUSHARRAF

Military leader became pivotal player in so-called war on terror
Profile: President Pervez Musharraf


1999: Musharraf's post-coup address
2002 August - President Musharraf grants himself sweeping new powers, including the right to dismiss an elected parliament. Opposition forces accuse Musharraf of perpetuating dictatorship.
2002 October - First general election since the 1999 military coup results in a hung parliament. Parties haggle over the make-up of a coalition. Religious parties fare better than expected.
2002 November - Mir Zafarullah Jamali selected as prime minister by the National Assembly. He is the first civilian premier since the 1999 military coup and a member of a party close to General Musharraf.
2003 February - Senate elections: Ruling party wins most seats in voting to the upper house. Elections said to be final stage of what President Musharraf calls transition to democracy.
2003 June - North-West Frontier Province votes to introduce Sharia law.
Kashmir ceasefire
2003 November - Pakistan declares a Kashmir ceasefire, which is swiftly matched by India.
2003 December - Pakistan and India agree to resume direct air links and to allow overflights of each other's planes from beginning of 2004 after two-year ban.
President Musharraf survives an attempt on his life; bombs explode under a bridge seconds after his car passes over it.

Religious tension spills out into Karachi's streets


2004: Karachi - Volatile metropolis
2004: Pakistan's schisms spill into present
2004 February - Leading nuclear scientist Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan admits to having leaked nuclear weapons secrets. Technology is said to have been transferred to Libya, North Korea and Iran.
2004 April - Parliament approves creation of military-led National Security Council. Move institutionalises role of armed forces in civilian affairs.
2004 May - Pakistan readmitted to Commonwealth.
Factional violence in Karachi: Senior Sunni cleric shot dead; bomb attack on Shia mosque kills 16, injures 40.
2004 June - Military offensive near Afghan border against suspected al-Qaeda militants and their supporters after attacks on checkpoints. Earlier offensive, in March, left more than 120 dead.
2004 August - Shaukat Aziz is sworn in as prime minister. In July he escaped unhurt from an apparent assassination attempt.
2004 December - President Musharraf announces that he will stay on as head of the army. He had previously promised to relinquish the role.
2005 January - Tribal militants in Baluchistan attack facilities at Pakistan's largest natural gas field, forcing closure of main plant.

2005 quake killed thousands, left millions without shelter

curiosity of a innocent child

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq ?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq ?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry,
we'll find something, probably right before next elections.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China ?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq . China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops and help make US corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people are exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China ?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq ?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq ?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China , too?
A: I told you, China 's a good economic competitor. Cuba , on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, the US government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba , and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A Don't be smart.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China . Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan .

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan ?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q How did they do such a good job?
A Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia ?
A That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q What's the difference?
A The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia .
A Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan ?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us.We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq , so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A Well, yeah. For a while.
Q Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran , which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q Why did that make him our friend?
A Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q Why?
A Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A Yes.

Q But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq ?
A Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Good night, dad....!
Counter Sample Page