EURO ENGLISH

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan
that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have
one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it
should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find
it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
in
ze forst plas.

PS: Just for fun stuff